Death, The Tower ,The Hermit and Myself.

I think I was 18 when I was first introduced to my psychic abilities...when I was younger I used to foresee bad things happening to people but not to me (damn..nothing is ever perfect) . Then a good friend of mine introduced me to the Tarot cards.

For all of you non-metaphysical people out there,Tarot cards have been used for ages to tell fortunes and predict the future as well as telling the reader things about themselves.

So I learned all the card spreads,read all the books,bought the cards and set out for wonderful experience of learning about myself and others in the process.

What I started as a joke came out to bite me where the sun don't shine.

What I said to people was true so I started having cult followers in my family and friends.

people started suggesting I even should get paid for it and I therefore created one rule.

no predicting the future.just reminding the "client" of how they are and how they should relate to themselves and needs later on in life. But that didn't meant that 99% of the time I saw ugly things I just didn't want to say to the people I loved.

still I am beginning to feel awful,having the talent is wonderful but not when I break someone's heart by saying that their loved one IS not there for them.

You see,I can see the future and the future is never fully lit by sunshine and I hate to be the one pointing out the gloom.

say what you will about people who see the future but If I have a 50% chance of being true and someone just says "you were right,he was cheating on me " or "you were right,she did leave after all".

I feel then that I have added pain on top of pain,not only will that person suffer now,they will forever remember that they had known earlier and should have done something to prevent it.

Today i have ventured and lay the cards for myself -usually means bad luck but in my case I could not be more unlucky even if i tried.

And i saw him.
I saw myself weeping.
I could hear my heart breaking.
I could see him moving on.
I saw him thinking of me wondering about what could have happened.
And I saw his confusion.
I also saw my inner strength.
My charm,All my possibilities.

In the end I saw the card of Death and the Tower and the Hermit.

Death is the card of loss and new beginnings

The Tower is the card of Disillusion,Revelation and realizing hidden truths.

The Hermit is the card of Solitude .

for the first time I didn't dare ask myself for the meaning.

for I am afraid of being right.